Puella Magi Integra Magica
by Lamia of the Dark
Summary: "What is your wish?" / "Kill my uncle." (The Hellsing/Madoka Magica crossover that no one asked for.)
1. Death Wish

**DISCLAIMER: Hellsing belongs to Kouta Hirano. Madoka Magica belongs to Magica Quartet.**

~ Puella Magi Integra Magica ~

Twelve-year-old Integra was crawling through the vents, desperately trying to reach the 'thing in the basement' that her father had said would save her.

She stopped crawling suddenly when a small white creature appeared in front of her.

"Make a contract with me and become a magical girl," it said.

Was this the thing her father had spoken of?

Questions fell, half-formed and inarticulate, from her lips.

"What? How?"

The creature went off on a long spiel which Integra was only half-listening to, about how she'd be expected to fight witches and something about the heat death of the universe... but, really, the fact that it was speaking without moving its mouth at all was distracting, to say the least.

Seeing that he'd lost the girl's attention, Kyubey simplified, "All you have to do to seal the contract is make a wish."

"A wish," Integra repeated, tone flat and disbelieving.

The little creature tilted its head, and appeared to be smiling at her - even though the configuration of its facial features hadn't actually changed.

"I can grant almost any wish that you have. That will seal the contract and allow me to turn you into a magical girl. Will you make a contract with me?"

After only a brief hesitation to consider the pros and cons of this offer, Integra nodded.

"What is your wish?"

Her gaze hardened.

"Kill my uncle."

"Contract accepted."

* * *

Alucard awoke at the first taste of blood on his lips.

The person leaning over him-

Girl. It's a just a little girl.

-feeding him blood from her own slashed wrist, could have been mistaken at first glance for the Grim Reaper. She was certainly dressed the part, scythe and all... if one disregarded the fact that what she wore beneath her billowing black cloak was highly reminiscent of a schoolgirl uniform.

Her soul was pinned to the front of her cloak, in the form of an ornate silver cross with a royal blue jewel at its center.

* * *

Kyubey began to wonder if it needed to adjust its plan, since its newest magical girl - with her slaughter-based magic and her vampire servant to aid her - was much more proficient at exterminating witches than any of her predecessors had been, and seemed unlikely to fall into despair herself anytime soon.

~oOo~


	2. The Opposite of Growing Pains

~ Puella Magi Integra Magica ~

"I can't go in there looking like this," Integra whined, flopping backward onto her bed. "I'm fifteen! I should have had a growth spurt by now. The other knights will know something is wrong if I show up to the Round Table like this..."

"Master, can't you use your magic to alter your form?" Alucard inquired.

If Kyubey understood anything about emotions, it might have said that the vampire seemed oddly calm about the situation. Since it couldn't comprehend such things, it merely stepped in to correct the mistaken assumption.

"She can't," Kyubey said. "Her magic is strictly battle magic. It can't be used to alter her physical form."

Alucard turned to the creature and asked it, "What do the other magical girls do when this happens?"

"This situation hasn't happened before."

"Why not?" Integra asked sharply, sitting up from her position on the bed to look at Kyubey.

"You're the first magical girl to survive more than a year after making the contract."

Kyubey had done what it could to push her toward the typical fate of a magical girl, but her vampire servant was quite adept at keeping her alive. It was also possible that her emotions were more stable because she'd been only twelve at the time of her transformation, not quite a teenager yet. It was hard to say for certain whether her age factored into the delay of her downfall, but the vampire was a definite spanner in the works.

She was also one of the few who questioned Kyubey extensively about what exactly the contract had _done_ to her, and as such was well aware of the disconnected state between her body and soul - or _basically a lich_ , in the words of her pet vampire.

At this point, Kyubey expected Integra to question it further about the other magical girls' deaths, but apparently she assumed it meant they all died fighting witches and had gone back to thinking about solutions for her own immediate problem, as evidenced by what she said next.

"Alucard... _you're_ a shapeshifter. Could you turn into me? An... older-looking me?"

"Of course, my master," the vampire replied, grinning. "That would be - dare I say it? - _child's play_ for me."

He spun in a slow circle and when he was facing her once more, his form was such that if Integra hadn't known better, she would have sworn she was seeing her older sister (not that she'd ever had a sister). Which... was indeed the point.

"Good," she said, "except for the suit. That looks too much like your usual clothes. Can't you wear a pretty dress or something?"

"As my master wishes," he said.

Visibly startled at hearing him speak, she turned to Kyubey and asked, "Does my voice sound like that?"

"It's an accurate imitation of what your voice would sound like if matured to correctly match your chronological age," the creature replied.

Alucard changed his outfit into a dress... and was forced to change several more times before Integra finally declared his choice of clothing appropriate for the Round Table meeting.

~oOo~


	3. The Seeds of Grief

~ Puella Magi Integra Magica ~

By necessity, Walter and Seras were in on the secret. Walter had a hard time believing what he was told about Kyubey, being unable to perceive the creature with his own senses. However, the fact that Integra's body had not aged at all in the past ten years was impossible to deny. And her lich state had also been proven to him - an experience which he _never_ wanted to repeat in his life.

The butler now carried with him at all times an "emergency kit" which consisted only of a small velvet-lined hardwood box whose contents he could not perceive, which he'd been told would be vital to Integra's survival if her "soul gem" became "contaminated". He wasn't quite sure what that meant _exactly_ , and had not asked for further explanation. Hopefully they would never be in a situation dire enough for him to need to administer the contents of that box.

Another thing which Walter despised the necessity of of were the times when Alucard and Integra were forced to switch roles, as was necessary today, with Alucard shifting form to play an adult version of Integra for the Round Table conference, while Integra played the vampire, pretending to have taken a form resembling her younger self.

The switch was in no danger of being discovered by the other Round Table members, because the idea of it was so entirely beyond ridiculous that none of them would ever think of such a thing.

Or so the Hellsing butler thought... until a massive ghoul invasion sent their little corner of the world spiraling into hell.

Locked in the conference room with the Round Table, Alucard was helpless to provide any defense against the invasion, as his main duty at the moment - his _master's order_ \- was for him to maintain the role of Sir Hellsing and absolutely not allow the Round Table to find out that he was Alucard, and the one out there fighting the ghouls, using magical powers that should be reserved only for combat against the so-called 'witches' was the real Integra.

Witches had been thin on the ground lately. Kyubey had been going farther and farther afield to recruit new magical girls, in other areas with higher witch activity. They still held a few Grief Seeds in reserve for emergencies, but Integra really shouldn't have been using her powers when they had so few resources left to remove the darkness that tainted her soul gem during battles.

The little white alien hadn't spent much time at the Hellsing estate lately, so Alucard was surprised to hear its awkwardly cute voice near his ear suddenly.

"Your vampire teeth are starting to show," it pointed out helpfully.

He forced his expression into something... less like the feral snarl that had appeared on his - well, technically _Integra's_ \- face. None of the other knights could see the creature.

 _Did any of them notice?_ he asked it telepathically.

"No," Kyubey replied.

The vampire struggled to hold his transformation, when with every fiber of his being he longed to be out there in the battle, to fight for and protect his master... or at least do more to aid the battle than remotely offer telepathic advice to his skittish fledgling.

Taking down the vampire brothers was simple enough. They weren't nearly as tough as the witches that Integra had fought - no match for her magical scythe, which could kill anything it cut, no matter how glancing a blow it might be. Clearing out the army of ghouls they'd brought with them was another task altogether. She didn't stop to wonder why the ghouls hadn't collapsed upon the deaths of their makers. She would file that question away for later.

With support from Walter and Seras, Integra cleared the ghouls from the mansion. It was only once they were in the hallway outside the conference room and she recognized the faces of the moaning corpse-creatures that were shambling toward her, that she realized her soldiers had been killed in the attack and turned into ghouls themselves.

Walter and Seras both saw the moment that Integra _broke_ and the shining gem on the silver cross pinned to her cloak was flooded with inky black tendrils.

Walter immediately withdrew the small wooden box from his pocket and shoved it into Seras's hand, trusting that she would know what do with the item inside, and threw himself into the pack of ghouls to keep them away from his lady and the young vampire.

Not bothering with the tiny latch, Seras merely crushed the box in her fist, and dropped the splintered wood and velvet cloth to the ground, then tapped the Grief Seed against Integra's soul gem. The darkness flowed out of the gem, leaving it a pure shining blue, and the seed pulsing with shadows that seemed ready to overflow its bounds.

Seras was momentarily startled as Kyubey appeared on her shoulder to consume the used-up Grief Seed.

Even with the darkness 'healed' from her soul gem, Integra's anguish still remained, and tears poured down her face as she stared at the remains of the Hellsing soldiers which littered the hallway. Unable to stand seeing her upset, Seras scooped the girl up into her arms. Integra buried her face against Seras's shoulder and sobbed.

Kyubey was still perched on Seras's other shoulder, and it was at this point that she thought to ask it, "What would have happened if we weren't able to purify her soul gem in time?"

"She would have turned into a witch."

(And now Kyubey had the knowledge of what would lead to Integra's Despair Event, which it had given up on finding out years ago, and instead spent more time away creating other magical girls in other places.)

Hearing this revelation, fury swept through Alucard - a rage deeper than any he'd ever felt before - yet somehow he managed to hold onto his form, keeping up the image of the adult-Integra (who would never truly exist), until after the Round Table members had left.

Once they had left and he was back in his own form, he confronted the alien.

"Why didn't you tell us that before?"

"You never asked."

~oOo~


	4. Allies, Flowers, Entropy, etc

~ Puella Magi Integra Magica ~

"The Vatican offers its condolences for your losses," Maxwell said, presenting 'Sir Integra' with a bouquet.

 _Smack him with them_.

Alucard gave no sign that he'd heard the real Integra's telepathic voice as he opened his arms and accepted the unexpected and unwanted gift. If it had been an actual command rather than a stray thought accidentally projected through their bond, he of course would have followed the instruction. He held the flowers as gingerly as if they were a newborn baby and he was the awkward elder sibling who was afraid of squishing them.

Integra, dressed in her old school uniform with a miniature version of Alucard's trademark red coat and hat over it, did not think she made a convincing fake-Alucard (even if the absurdity of the real situation would prevent people from thinking she could possibly be anyone or anything else). Letting her self-consciousness get the better of her, she hung onto Seras' hand for support - which, to her mind, only made her look more like the child she would never grow out of being, and would only make their enemies-turned-reluctant-allies more suspicious that some sort of trickery was going on.

To Maxwell's and Anderson's eyes, however, it merely appeared as though 'Alucard' had chosen a child form for some reason (and they didn't bother contemplating the reason he'd chosen that particular form or its resemblance to his current master), and was holding onto his fledgling for some reason (again, they did not put any thought into trying to figure out what the reason for this might be).

Before the conversation had a chance to get to the actual point of this meeting, Anderson squinted in the vampires' direction and asked, "What is _that_ thing?"

"What thing?" Maxwell asked, nonplussed.

At the same time Walter turned to look at what Anderson was looking at and, also seeing nothing out of the ordinary, said, "Seras?"

"Not the vampire," Anderson snapped, visibly frustrated. "That white thing on her shoulder!"

"Oh, he can see me," said Kyubey, who was indeed sitting on Seras' shoulder. "That's strange."

"It's an Incubator," Alucard answered.

"What does it incubate?"

"The corrupted souls of fallen heroes, in order to delay the heat death of the universe, supposedly."

"... is that some kind of joke?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

~oOo~


End file.
